First we rip it apart, then build it back up

One might ask how deciding to demolish and remodel my 2nd bathroom is going to help me find my next career.  Seems like it might be a convenient distraction and it will postpone the need to figure things out at least this week and the couple that follow.  It is remarkable how much I find to do that provides a distraction. But, I take comfort in knowing that I am learning new things, trying new skills and finding passion in what I am doing again, even if it isn't making me a salary.  I guess doing the demo provides a suitable analogy for what I am doing in this career transition.  I have to take it all down to the studs again, start fresh and figure out what new looks like.  I have a vision, but no real plan for my career or the bathroom.  It is going to be painstakingly slow getting the foundation ready.  I have to fix infrastructure, find new fixtures, pick out the right stuff, teach myself how to do it.  Just like leaving my job, I was a little scared starting this project knowing it wasn't going to be a simple task.   So maybe it is not so much a distraction as it is an opportunity to expand my horizon, dig deep and find out what I can do.  In just one day I took my bathroom apart, heck I think I can continue the inward journey and figure out what is next for me. 

I started writing about my past last night.  It is kind of revealing to take it apart and examine what it felt like.  I recalled things I hadn't in a long time and I actually kind of understood myself a little more having thought about those early influences.  It is such a baby step but I'm still moving ahead.  Life is so sweet and I value the time to do this.  I'm so grateful for the support of family and friends.  It does make the journey a little easier and I feel a little less guilty (but only a little).  Sigh.